


An Alternian Fairytale

by Geist



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Alien Biology, Biting, Blow Jobs, Buckets, Cunnilingus, F/M, Hate Sex, Impregnation, Oral Sex, Sex, Strip Tease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-27
Updated: 2011-07-27
Packaged: 2017-10-21 20:22:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/229391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geist/pseuds/Geist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eridan has a bold plan to slay Vriska's lusus. But to do that, he first needs to make a visit to her castle in person...</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Alternian Fairytale

A long time ago (relatively speaking), on a planet far, far away (inasmuch as distance can be applied in a situation like this), in the universe that came before ours (this one is pretty much accurate, barring a brief interlude of paradox space), there lived a race of grey-skinned, orange-horned people known as trolls. Among these people lived a noble prince of the sea. The prince was known far and wide as a wise and just leader, cruel to his underlings and full of clever plans for doomsday devices to scourge their filth from the face of his world. His wondrous hive was filled with treasure, and his collection of weapons was powerful enough to frighten even the most psychotic of Subjuggulators. The prince was a most magnificent prince indeed.

But for all his riches and all his power, the prince was troubled in his collapsing and expanding bladder-based vascular system. His true love was even more powerful than he, for she was to be the empress of his people one day, ruling over them with kindness and love. The prince thought this was a rotten way to rule, but this was not his main concern. No, it was the fact that his true love showed absolutely no interest in him that had him concerned. It was understandable, though. A lady of her stature would not fall for his charms instantly. In time, she would feel the same mating fondness for him as he did for her. It was his other interest that had him worried.

Yes, his other interest. For the prince's race was a strange and violent one, and each of them sought not just a true love, someone to care about (or rather, pity. The romances of the prince's people were as strange as they), but also a fated enemy, someone with whom they could share a lifelong hatred. The prince thought that he had such a person. She was a thief; blue of blood, certainly, but not fit to lick the saltwater from the prince's fins. Her hatred for him was more along the lines of contemptuous amusement. Her attitude was unacceptable; it enraged him, which made his hate for her burn all the brighter. The prince smiled when he thought of it. But the fact remained, she did not hate him in the same way he hated her. It would take a grand gesture to make her hate him as much. The prince believed he knew of such a gesture.

And so the prince bid farewell to his hive and saddled up his trusty lusus, a giant flying seahorse who was also his father-analogue. Astride this improbable creature the prince flew off towards the land. He passed the shoreline, soared over plains and forests, hills and mountains. At last he came to a cracked and blasted desert, a landscape of bluffs and mesas. Atop two of the latter, a pair of hives towered, glaring at each other across the rift between them. One belonged to a mighty warrior and genius inventor, who built terrifying robots and smashed them to bits with his bare hands for practice. He was of no concern to the prince. The other hive belonged to the thief. Flying high over the two he peered down into the valley separating them. What he saw there would have stilled the circulatory system of a lesser mortal.

Squatting within the valley was an immense white spider, a monstrous bulbous thing of shining chitin and hairy, spindly legs. It sat upon a web that spanned the canyon from wall to wall. Below lay the countless skeletons of unfortunate trolls fed to the spider by her adoptive-daughter. The prince smiled grimly. His fated enemy was a deadly foe. For this spider was the lusus of the thief, and the prince's plan was to slay it. The prince looked at the monster through the sights of his rifle. Just one squeeze of the trigger and a pulse of energy would lance out, slicing through the spider and letting its blue ichor seep out onto the ground below. The prince's finger tightened...

...and then relaxed again. The prince lowered his rifle and furrowed his brow. Would a sneak attack of this kind really impress his thief? It might; subterfuge was her stock in trade after all. But would it not be a bolder gesture to storm through her front doors, to announce to her his intentions and then, in full view of her horrified eyes, slaughter her lusus while she stood by helplessly? Oh, how her hate for him would burn. The prince steeled himself and urged his mount down to the edge of the cliff upon which her hive stood. He climbed off the seahorse and patted its neck, then strode purposefully forward to the huge entrance doors. At his touch, they swung inwards, revealing the gloom of the interior.

A little nervously, the prince stepped into the hive, his footfalls muffled by a thick layer of dust and fallen cobwebs. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he saw that the tower was mostly hollow, just a tall spire filled with a labyrinthine network of spindly staircases. As he looked around, a voice spoke unto him from above. It said,

"Wwell, wwell, if it isn't my favourite wwaterdwweller come for a vvisit. Wwhat's up, Eridan?"

The thief. And mocking his noble accent no less. He span around to face her, his fists clenching. There she was; standing one flight of stairs above him. Eridan struck a suitably heroic pose and shouted up to her,

"Vriska! Your reign of terror has come to an end! Today I slay the vile beast to which you feed your victims and take you as my eternal kismesis!"

Vriska rolled her eyes; a particularly interesting thing to watch given the eight-segmented pupil in her right eye. "Pleeeeeeeease," she said. "If you were going to kill my lusus you'd have done it by now. Did you think I didn't see you flapping around out there? I might actually have been impressed if you'd gone through with it."

Eridan growled. "I will kill it, Vris!"

"No you won't. We both know what you're really here for." Vriska took a couple of steps down the stairs. Eridan stepped back, hefting his rifle and said,

"Stay back! I'm not here to fight you!"

"Who said a thing about fighting?" Vriska sat down on the stairs and crossed her legs. Eridan noticed that instead of her usual grey pants, she was wearing a very short grey skirt and a pair of blue and grey striped stockings. The material of the skirt flowed alluringly over her thighs.

"Then what?"

"Jegus, you really are dense aren't you?" Vriska uncrossed her legs and recrossed them, right over left this time. In the brief moment when they were parted, Eridan could have sworn he saw a glimpse of blue flesh surrounded by grey skin. He swallowed. What was she playing at?

Vriska leaned back, tilting her head so she could still keep her gaze fixed on Eridan. She grinned at him and held up a hand, beckoning him towards her. She was almost tempted to reach out with her mind and compel him to walk forwards. Despite his noble blood, his mind would surely be weak enough for her to take control. But then, she had other much subtler and nearly as effective ways of getting what she wanted. Sure enough, Eridan was moving towards her.

Vriska took her seductive efforts up a notch. She parted her lips, her blue tongue flicking out and running across both them and her rows of sharp, white teeth. She slid her hand over her chest, gently squeezing what could charitably be called her breasts through her shirt. She gasped as her fingers rubbed against her rapidly hardening nipples, then moved her hand down her stomach to the hem of her shirt. She flashed another grin at Eridan and, in one swift movement, yanked her shirt up and over her head. Moaning, she threw back her head and massaged her naked breasts. Eridan's jaw dropped.

"You want all this, huh?" she murmured. Eridan may have been somewhat flabbergasted but he wasn't about to let that pass.

"All what?" he scornfully replied. Vriska's face fell into a scowl.

"I'm offering you everything you want on a plate and that's how you answer me?"

"Do you really gogdamn think I came here just for a quick fuck?"

"Yeah."

"No! I'm gonna fuckin' slaughter your lusus, you're gonna detest me for the rest of your days, and then we're both going back to my hive where you're gonna be my hatebride for the rest of mine!" Eridan hefted his rifle and glared at Vriska.

His impassioned speech didn't quite have the effect he was hoping for. Vriska was laughing, a harsh, raucous sound that made him feel about ten inches tall.

"Ahahahahahahahaha, oh my Gog, Ampora, you are just too much. Okay, here's the situation. One, you are not going to kill my lusus, if you try, I can and will stop you. Two, we are never going to be kismeses, it just ain't gonna happen. We've been over this how many times now? Three, I would really enjoy a good fuck right about now, and since my only other option within a few hundred miles is that sweaty freak next door, you have a once in a lifetime opportunity to have a go at this." Vriska spread her legs wide open and hiked up her skirt, putting her pussy in full view. Eridan's eyes practically bulged out of his head. The excitement of humiliating him had aroused Vriska, and the first traces of her moisture drooled from her cleft, slicking her labia and inner thighs with a sheen of juices. Eridan's cock leapt into full erectness as he stared greedily.

"So how about it, water boy?" Vriska continued, creeping her fingers down towards her cunt, gently rubbing her outer lips. "Wanna get wet?" That was all it took. With a roar of frustration Eridan stalked towards her, struggling out of his clothes as he went. He reached the foot of the stairs Vriska sat upon and yanked his shirt off. Fully naked, he ascended the stairs, his finned, purple-headed cock proudly bobbing before him. Vriska grinned a lusty grin and pressed her back against the steps, using two fingers to spread her pussy wide open. Another stride, and Eridan was upon her, getting down on all fours to cover her body with his. He pushed his face right up against hers, and half growled, half whispered,

"I...HATE...you...so much. So much." Vriska merely smiled and with whip-like speed grabbed the back of his head, tangling her fingers in his hair and savagely pulling him down for a kiss, her tongue violating his mouth before he could recover from the shock. She pinned his tongue under hers in a show of dominance, though his easily slipped out from under hers when he began to reciprocate. Muffled moans escaped the occasional gap between their lips as they clutched at each other, her heart and his heart-analogue pounding as their shared pheromones whipped them into a frenzy of lust.

Vriska raked her nails down Eridan's back. As he gasped in pain she broke their kiss, sucking his bottom lip into her mouth and giving it a nip that broke through the delicate skin, drawing out his noble purple blood. A few droplets came away on her own lips, and she hungrily licked them up. Eridan put his fingers up to his bleeding lip and reproachfully said,

"Oww! What the hell Vris? I thought that stupid rainbow drinker shit was Kan's thing?" Vriska was in no mood for his whining. She grabbed him by the throat and pulled him close, staring into his eyes with an almost feral look in hers.

"Cock...cunt...now!" she demanded, a low, sultry note in her voice. Eridan nodded. Vriska let go of his throat and he pulled back. He grabbed his throbbing prick, a small shiver of delight running through him as his fingers brushed up against his sensitive cockfins. Leaning forward, he slipped the head between Vriska's pussy lips and pushed forward, filling her up inch by inch. She hissed out her pleasure as he bottomed out, his fins just brushing the entrance to her genebladder. Vriska moaned as she felt that tight ring of muscle slacken in response to both his touch and certain pheromonal cues, ready to accept his seed. Eridan felt warmth on his cock as a little dribble of Vriska's own genetic fluid flowed out, mingling with the rest of her wetness. That was all the impetus Eridan needed to start thrusting, pulling out of her with a spray of blue-tinted juices. He drove back in, groaning at the blissful sensation of Vriska's folds enveloping him.

Instinct took over, and Eridan began fucking Vriska as hard as he could, his balls slapping against her buttocks with every thrust. Vriska gasped and writhed beneath him as his pistoning cock pounded into her, her nerves tingling as her flesh stretched around it. Her pussy lips clung to his shaft, following it in and out. Occasionally she squealed and twitched as one of his cockfins ran across her clit. She shuffled her arse back against the very edge of the step she was sitting on, Eridan's cock briefly flopping out of her. Before he could do anything to correct it himself, she had her legs up and around his waist, dragging him back inside her. Eridan's feet almost slipped off their perch, and he briefly considered how bad a position a tall set of stone stairs was for sex before the warmth of Vriska's sex around his prick blurred his mind again. He shifted into a more stable position, freeing up his hands, which made their way down to Vriska's bottom. His fingers curled around her cheeks, pressing into her flesh. Eridan had to admit there wasn't much there to squeeze, but he made the best of it as he resumed his manic thrusting.

The new position, combined with Vriska's thighs around Eridan's waist 'encouraging' him towards greater depth and speed soon had Vriska moaning like a cheap, two-beetle pailseller. Her walls were pulsing around his shaft, both persuading his cock to give up its seed and readying themselves to slurp it up into her genebladder when that happened. Eridan groaned; he didn't think he'd be able to hold out much longer. Her body wanted him to come fast, but if he didn't satisfy her the consequences would be dire. He gritted his teeth and tensed his body, but the pleasure welled up, further and further...

It overflowed. "Vris..." he grunted, "...cumming."

Her eyes snapped open. "Don't you fucking dare," she growled. "I'm nowhere near yet."

"Ohhhhh fuuuuck!" he moaned. His cock pulsed, his balls spraying their load deep inside her, coating her tunnel with his tyrian-tinted cum. With it came a blast of pheromones that were swiftly absorbed by her delicate membranes, prompting the entrance to her genebladder to dilate wide open. A torrent of her own seed rushed out, but Eridan kept on squirting, his balls drawing new genetic fluid from his own genebladder, filling up her innermost sanctum. The walls of her pussy went into overdrive, both milking his cock of all it could give and drawing up any stray drops that missed the mark, plus the rivulets of her fluids that had escaped.

With one final spurt, Eridan's cock fell still. Vriska's genebladder closed tightly shut, ready to begin the process of mixing Eridan's seed with her own. Her stomach was noticeably swollen by the added volume of his cum. Her face took on an almost warm expression as she ran her hand across her belly. Then she snapped her head up and gave Eridan the death glare to end all death glares. He barely noticed, a foolish grin plastered across his face as he relaxed in his post-coital bliss. Vriska snapped him out of it. She yanked on his hair for the second time that night, much less playfully this time. Eridan yelped as she pulled him down and growled,

"What do you think you were doing just now?"

"I was fucking you?" Vriska pulled harder. "Owowowowow."

"What you were doing is being the same useless shithead you always are!" Vriska pushed him backwards. He almost toppled off the stairs, painfully saved by Vriska's hand around his hair. He winced as his knees slipped off their step and banged against the one below. Vriska forced him down again, positioning his head between her thighs.

"Now lick," she commanded. "And don't stop until I come."

Eridan gave the scene in front of him a dubious look. Vriska's pussy was still distended, her inner lips engorged and poking out from between the outer ones. Her clit was equally tumescent, while below it her hole gaped, dripping a bluey-purple mixture of seed and pussy juice. He felt more pressure on his poor abused scalp as Vriska sensed his reluctance. He sighed and leaned forward, closed his eyes and stuck out his tongue. With great trepidation, he pressed the tip against the base of her sloppy cunt.

To his surprise, it wasn't so bad. Sure, the genetic fluids were slimy and salty, but it was bearable. His tongue trailed up, dipping inwards as it passed over her entrance. He travelled up further. Vriska spasmed as he ran over her little jewel. She moaned, relaxing a little and subsequently slackening her grip on Eridan's hair. On the basis that whatever made her the happiest was the best for him, Eridan kept up his licking, sliding his tongue up and down the length of her slit. Every time he touched her clit her moans and sighs grew louder, and her grasp weaker. Soon her hands left his head, roving their way back to her nipples, tweaking and teasing them.

Eridan found himself growing enthusiastic about his task. He flicked his tongue into every crevice and crease in her labia, slurping up all the fluids there and replacing them with a thin sheen of saliva. When her outer folds were clean, he stiffened his tongue and stuck it deep into her drooling tunnel. He swirled it around, another trickle of juices flowing into his mouth. Above him Vriska panted in pleasure. She thrusted her hips up, pressing her cleft harder against his lips. He responded by thrashing his tongue around, wiggling it from side to side before swiftly drawing it out. Vriska gasped at the sudden emptiness, then squealed as he thrust it back in again. He repeated the motion, and again, building up a steady rhythm, fucking her with his tongue.

Vriska was moaning like crazy. She hadn't expected Eridan to be so good at eating her out. Her fingers flickered over her nipples, twisting them, squeezing them, driving them into the softer flesh surrounding them. Her breath was becoming ragged, she could feel a heat building in her full belly that hadn't been there before. She needed her orgasm. She moved her hand towards her pussy, intending to rub her clit until she went over the edge, but then hesitated. It was Eridan's task to make her come. She tapped him on the forehead, and as he looked up pointed down at her blue bud. Eridan nodded and withdrew his tongue, a string of juices and spit stretching between her skin and his lips.

As gently as possible, Eridan fastened his lips around Vriska's clitoris. Vriska howled in pleasure and threw back her head with wild abandon. Pleased by her reaction, Eridan began to suckle, his lips squeezing as the tip of his tongue snaked out to meet with the tip of her little bulb. Vriska screamed, and as Eridan started to lick her scream tapered out into one long keen of ecstasy. Eridan reached up and pushed two hooked fingers into her dripping cunt, pressing his fingertips into her most sensitive spots. His licking intensified and he started to finger-fuck her, pushing his digits in and out. He could feel her walls pulsing again, and knew she was close. His fingers blurred with speed, his tongue lashed her clit.

After just a few short moments of that treatment Vriska's screams caught in her throat, her eyes snapped wide open and she blankly stared into the blinding glare of her own climax. A spray of her juices squirted out around Eridan's fingers. He withdrew them and licked them clean, smirking in the knowledge of a job finally well done. Vriska's eyelids fluttered as she rode out her ecstasy, her arms and legs went limp and she fell back against the stairs. Eridan watched her a tad nervously as she regained her breath.

Presently Vriska recovered. She slowly opened her eyes and grinned at Eridan. "Not baaaaaaaad," she murmured. "At least you know how to use your tongue. Not that that's surprising." Eridan pouted at her insult.

"Oh, don't look so grumpy," she continued. "You've got me in a good mood now. How about I return the favour?" She inclined her head, indicating Eridan's once again erect cock. Eridan looked down, almost surprised. He'd been so focused on pleasuring Vriska that he hadn't noticed his own need returning. He said,

"Vris, you're saying you want to..."

"Suck it, yes," Vriska replied. "So do you want me to or what?"

"Y-yes."

"Get up here then."

They switched positions, Eridan sitting on the step above her and spreading his legs wide, Vriska taking her place below him. For the first time since their encounter, Eridan felt he had the tiniest modicum of control. That quickly vanished when Vriska bent her head and lightly nipped his cockhead, her sharp teeth pricking his sensitive skin. He yelped.

"Hey, watch it! What is it with you and biting me?"

"Can't take a little pain, you overgrown grub?"

Eridan's response was washed away in a wave of pleasure as Vriska wrapped her lips around his head, cockfins and all, and sucked his shaft into her mouth. She bobbed her head up and down a couple of times, slicking his prick in spittle. When it was nice and wet, she brought her mouth down until the tip of his cock was at the very back of her mouth and took a deep breath through her nose. With a practiced gulp, she took his dick into her gullet, sucking hard as she did so. Eridan gasped as her throat constricted around his member.

Vriska started to move again, her lips clinging to his cock as she sucked. She wrapped her tongue around Eridan's shaft, slurping noisily every time he penetrated her throat. She used the tip of her tongue to fondle his cockfins, keeping the delicate membranes plastered tightly to the side of his penis, away from her teeth. Every lick brought fresh gasps and moans from Eridan, and it was all he could do to stop himself from just grabbing the sides of Vriska's head and ravishing her mouth until his climax took him. He resisted, knowing that would end very badly for him. Instead he just sat back and luxuriated in the sensations shooting up from his crotch.

Vriska shifted her balance, making sure she could kneel on the stairs safely. She reached up and took the base of his cock in one hand, wrapping her thumb and forefinger around it, squeezing tightly. Her other hand went to his balls, gently massaging them, coaxing them to give up whatever remained of his seed. She stuck out one finger and pressed it hard against his perineum. That last action made his eyes shoot wide open, as she began to rub it in little circles the pleasure he was feeling intensified to the point where it was almost unbearable. His cock twitched uncontrollably. He groaned as he tried to hold back the inevitable, but all it took was one more gulp from Vriska's talented mouth. He hit his peak hard, sparks shooting through him as his prick spewed its load into her maw. She swallowed it all down, savouring the salty taste. His softening prick slipped out from between her jaws, the only sign of its passage a little trail of purple cum hanging from her lips. She ran her tongue around her mouth, removing even that little trace.

As Eridan recovered, he managed to pant "Vris, that was..."

"Amazing, wonderful, yeah yeah, I know. I'm gooooooood."

Vriska's stomach gurgled. She clutched at it, feeling it rumble beneath her fingers.

"Ah. Bucket time!" she said brightly.

She pushed past Eridan and scurried down the staircase. Blushing a furious purple at her profanity, Eridan followed her. Upon reaching the level floor of the entrance hall, Vriska removed a pair of pails from her sylladex. Eridan's heart-analogue skipped a beat when he saw that they were both emblazoned with a black spade. Vriska noticed his look and said,

"Don't get excited, Ampora, these are the only ones I have right now." She continued, sneering, "But you could always pretend."

Vriska carefully put the buckets next to each other, then squatted over the first one. She spread her labia, and after a few seconds a trickle of her and Eridan's mingled juices flowed from her pussy, followed by a torrent of the stuff. The bucket quickly filled up as the thick genetic slurry splattered into it. When it was nearing its brim, Vriska shuffled over the next one and waited until it was equally full. Her genebladder empty, she took her hand away from her crotch and licked her fingers clean of a few stray drops.

"Well, there you go," she said. "Looks like the imperial drone won't cull you this sweep. Well, he will unless you can find someone to pretend to be your matesprit as well."

"So that's it?" Eridan said. "We're just...done?"

"Yeah, we're done. Door's over there." Vriska captchalogued her bucket, gathered up her clothes and walked back towards the stairs. As she went she looked over her shoulder and said,

"You weren't a bad fuck though, in the end."

Eridan watched her go. He wanted to say something, some terrible, cutting line that would make her hate for him flare like a nova. But there was nothing. Nothing he could say, nothing he could do. He'd missed all his chances. His shoulders hunched, his head drooped as wandered around the hall, picking up his own clothes and putting them on. When he was dressed, he shuffled over to the door, exiting into the cold desert night. The door creaked shut behind him.

Eridan trudged over to his lusus. The seahorse looked at him expectantly, then seeing his dejected aspect, snorted almost derisively. Eridan climbed on to its back and urged it up into the air. As they spiralled up into the night sky Eridan looked down into the gulch and saw Vriska's lusus, still squatting upon its web. A brief surge of anger flew through him and he unholstered his rifle, aiming down its length. But he couldn't fire. He sighed, put the rifle away and began the long journey back to the coast.

The best night of his life had left the prince a broken troll.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this. If you did, please leave me comments (hell, leave me comments if you hated it, give me both barrels :D) and kudos. And if you REALLY liked it, why not follow me at geistygeist.tumblr.com?


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